“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” - John F. Kennedy
Although this excerpt from Kennedy’s 1963 Thanksgiving Proclamation was not specifically directed towards military members and veterans, it perfectly represents the level of appreciation that those who have served and their families deserve. It isn’t difficult to convince people that our servicemen and women deserve more than words, the hard part is figuring out what to DO about it. How can average civilians engage in meaningful action to support and thank our military members and their families when the challenges they face are near impossible for us to fathom? Our best insight may come from the front lines.
Jennie Taylor is on a mission. It may not be a mission she had hoped for, but speak with her for even a second and you can tell by the resolve in her voice that it is a mission she is entirely dedicated to. In 2018 Jennie’s husband Maj. Brent Taylor was killed while serving with the Utah National Guard in Afghanistan. His death gave Jennie and her family what she calls a “backstage pass to the price of freedom” and launched her on a mission (in addition to raising her seven kids) to create a stronger connection between Americans and the military.
The Situational Disconnect
Jennie is adamant that, in order for our society to more effectively express gratitude to our military and their families, we must work on building a genuine connection with them. “In order for it to matter to you, you need to be connected,” says Jennie. She credits her community’s personal connection with Brent as one of the main reasons she received such strong public support after his passing. “So many people personally knew Brent that it helped them feel directly connected to the military and to our situation,” she says.
Jennie acknowledges that this connection is not always easy. “I believe that most Americans are deeply patriotic, but that patriotism is lying dormant because we live in a relatively peaceful time where we don’t have to worry,” she says.
Another factor contributing to the disconnect is the shrinking military population. Currently, less than one percent of our population serves in the military as opposed to nine percent during WWII. “During the WWII era, someone was always worrying over loved ones in the military, but today, that’s just not true, because fewer people have that personal connection,” says Jennie.
Society’s difficulty connecting is further aggravated by many military members’ tendency to shy away from attention. “Service members will often hide their service because they aren’t serving for recognition and they never want it to come across that way,” explains Jennie. She admits that it can be hard to get military members and their families to ask for and accept help because they so often believe that they are the ones who should be serving others, not needing help themselves.
Jennie uses the following metaphor to describe what she believes is a situational disconnect. “On one side of the divide you have the military and on the other you have civilians. In order to close the gap of this divide, we must create a bridge over it. Every bridge has two ends, meaning, in order for a true solution to exist, both sides must put in the effort to build their end.” This brings us back to the burning question, how do we form this connection?
Acknowledge That Hell Exists
Jennie believes that awareness is the first step towards connection. “Our soldiers have been through hell and we need to carry them out. But to do that we have to acknowledge that hell exists,” she says. It is essential that we, as members of society, take the initiative to educate ourselves on the issues military members and their families face, no matter how uncomfortable, and then do our part in educating others. It is only by acknowledging their hell that we position ourselves to try to connect.
Help Us Say Thank You
An obvious prerequisite for meaningful connection is a greater level of communication between military members and civilians. It is often hard for military members and their families to ask for help because their challenges are so foreign to those not in the military. “In order to better understand their challenges and connect with them, we need to help our military members feel proud of their service,” says Jennie. She admits this can be difficult, “They aren’t trained to be boastful, but we can empower them by establishing communication that can help us better understand how to help in ways that they will be most receptive to.” Her advice is to approach the situation with the question: “Help us who don’t serve understand how better to say thank you to those of you who do.”
Create Opportunities For Connection
We must be proactive in not only looking for but also creating opportunities to connect. “Don’t wait until they are dead to celebrate our military. It wasn’t being killed that made Brent a good soldier, it was his decision to get up and serve every day that made him a good soldier,” says Jennie. When it comes to creating these opportunities we don’t need to overthink it. “It doesn’t have to be a parade,” Jennie stresses, “it can be something as small as a genuine note.” What means most to her is when she can tell that people have taken the time to sincerely connect to her story. “That can be through goodie bags, dinner or simply asking to help out when it isn’t the holidays,” she adds. The key is not the size of the gesture but its honesty.
The Highest Level of Gratitude
Jennie is the blueprint for how to properly thank our soldiers. As powerful as her words of appreciation are, it is her continued dedication to live by those words through her actions that elevates her gratitude to the highest level. For more information about The Major Brent Taylor Foundation, The Major Brent Taylor Leadership Legacy and other initiatives that Jennie is involved with, visit www.majorbrenttaylor.com and rb.gy/pmd8bx. If you want to get in direct contact with Jennie, she can be reached at majorbrenttaylor@gmail.com.